Damn Idol - Chapter 10

Lion Entertainment’s CEO, Choi Dae-Ho, was feeling a tad bamboozled after receiving the report.

 

The report from the rookie development team that was selecting Team B personnel was long, but in summary, it was this:

 

There is a young man who is too good. He is so good that we are wondering if he should be put in Team B. If we put him in Team B, we need to clearly establish how he will be utilized.

 

In other words, the applicant, Han Si-On could become a stumbling block to Take Scene debuting.

 

‘What? Like, how good can someone actually be?’

 

Surely, the world is full of geniuses, so he might really be that good. But…

 

“Since when does being a musical maestro equate to idol survival skills?”

 

Musicians generally make it big if their tunes bang. But idols do not succeed with good music alone. That’s why becoming an idol is a job that gets bad raps, but it is those intense, cutthroat moments that define them.

 

As someone who has witnessed these moments countless times, CEO Choi did not understand the worries about the participant Han Si-On. But even he was amazed when he saw Han Si-On’s audition tape.

 

“Hmm…”

 

Buddy’s not just good. He’s disgustingly good.

 

Not just singing well, but owning it.

 

The rookie development team seemed to have given high scores to Han Si-On’s free-choice song <Tony Bright>, but Choi Dae-Ho thought differently.

 

The performance of the designated song <Flower Language> was more impressive.

 

A 20-year-old young prodigy rearranging and belting out a guitar track?

 

Got it.

 

He wanted to flex his shiny talent, showing off just how fab he is.

 

But <Flower Language> is a song that loses its charm if sung like that.

 

Han Si-On knew that, and he delivered it with pinpoint precision and calmness.

 

It was surprising. That a young genius had a sense of moderation.

 

“So this is the reason for their concern.”

 

But regardless of his admiration, CEO Choi was not phased. His stance remained unchanged.

 

Unless he’s in his 3rd or 4th year since his solo gigs, Han Si-On alone cannot beat Take Scene in a survival show.

 

He’ll probably be frustrated.

 

About why the other Team B members cannot sing like him.

 

About why Take Scene’s stages are better than his even when individually he’s better.

 

‘It would be neat if his solo missions turn Take Scene into the underdogs.’  

 

Of course, this is from the perspective of Take Scene’s producer, but as Lion Entertainment’s CEO, he was drooling over Si-On.

 

This kid needs to be locked down with a trainee contract.

 

Even if it meant Lion Ent. breaking the bank for the first time.

 

If not…

 

‘Wait. Can’t one of Team B’s members make it into the debut group through some kind of special route?’

 

Making Take Scene a 6 member group and adding Han Si-On also sounded like a pretty sweet idea. 

 

*   *   *

 

The call for Coming Up Next’s selection came through.

 

Considering my skills, it’s an obvious result, but honestly, a sigh of relief still came out.

 

My head thought I had it in the bag, but I was still a little anxious for some reason.

 

“Thank you.”

 

– Filming is on February 23rd, it’s a 1-night, 3-day gig, so just bring clothes. Other things like toiletries are provided.

 

“Got it.”   

 

– Detailed info regarding filming is sent via email, if you have any questions, inquire through the phone number written there.

 

“Confirmed.”

 

After the brief call, I checked the email.  

 

The purpose of the first filming is simple.

 

Finalize the personnel for Team B that will compete with Team A (Take Scene).  

 

The final Team B headcount is 5, but 10 have made it this far.

 

Half of the participants must be eliminated over two stages.

 

The specifics of the stages weren’t detailed, but there were hints of solo and group performances. 

 

Will the personal round be singing, and will the team round be for the showdown?

 

Doesn’t matter what it is. 

 

I’m confident in my performance, too.

 

I’ve never lived the dance singer life.

 

It’s impossible for an Asian to survive in the U.S. as a dance singer based on sex appeal.   

 

But there certainly are moments on stage when dance is needed.

 

Especially for black music like R&B and rap.

 

So I learned how to dance by splurging tens of thousands of dollars to Billboard’s top trainers, and I brought decent reactions on stage too.   

 

I’ve never done K-Pop’s distinctive formations but…

 

If I’m taught, I’m confident I can follow.

 

Anyway, for the first shoot, no special prep is needed.

 

So, I hunkered down on composing and vocal training for the next two weeks.

 

It’s best to cram in as much composing as possible while I’m still unknown.

 

Because I’m also human. Who knows if I’ll have any energy left once I debut and start full-fledged activities.

 

However, if I have a backlog of compositions, I can afford to refine them to satisfaction when I have the free time.

 

Vocal practice, on the other hand, needs to be done steadily. So I don’t force myself.  

 

Hitting my ideal tone? I have to give it another 2 years.

 

I’m still growing, so I’ll be taller next year.

 

When the body grows, the form and resonance of the vocal cords change subtly. The sound cannot be completed as it is now.  

 

Other things I did were dance practice and listening to as much K-Pop as possible.

 

It feels odd when I’m the only one who doesn’t know a popular song.

 

“Ugh…”

 

But honestly, this is kinda awkward.

 

2017 K-Pop is ambiguous.

 

The #1-2 top weekly charters are solid.  

 

These are good songs; Many would do well even if they came out years later.

 

I found a few that make me think if production was held off and they were released years later instead of now, they would’ve been huge.

 

But beyond the top spots, there’s a dip in standard.

 

This is subjective, but I feel Korean music standards will rise around 2020, with COVID as a turning point.

 

Sound quality itself can’t catch up to those on Billboard due to budget, but production-wise? It is on par with them.  

 

This is why international superstars are born, and fans of K-pop emerge domestically.

 

2017 K-Pop clearly isn’t there yet.

 

But thinking about it…

 

Might the Billboard chart be the same thing?

 

In my previous life, I was a 2028 Grammy winner, living up to 2039 at most.  

 

Finding songs from 11 years ago (max 22 years ago) out of touch is probably natural.  

 

Thinking that way, I listened to some Billboard songs. They’re a bit corny.

 

So, it wasn’t a K-Pop issue.   

 

Time passed faithfully like that, and before I knew it, the first day of <COMING UP NEXT> filming had arrived.

 

*   *   *

 

I visited my comatose parents at the hospital the day before filming.  

 

It feels like it’s been a while.  

 

Time-wise, it probably hasn’t been long.

 

Maybe a little over a month since I was discharged?

 

However, it seems like quite some time has passed since I last visited the hospital, where my parents remain in a vegetative state.

 

Normally, after going to the U.S., I don’t come back to Korea.

 

Unless for concerts, visa, military issues I really don’t want to come at all.  

 

And even when in Korea, I don’t go to the hospital much. 

 

Facing my parents brings pain from confronting failures and the daunting aspect of success.

 

Will I never be able to sell 200 million albums?

 

Even after a hundred years go by, or even two hundred, won’t I still be stuck in this whole non-linear time thing?

 

Doesn’t the devil know that and mock me?

 

I thought about stuff like that.

 

But thinking this way is not good.

 

I might accidentally regress.  

 

The media often calls me a psychopath or sociopath for not visiting my parents when I’m in Korea, but I’m not that kind of person.

 

I’m just a coward.

 

The reason I went to the hospital this time was because of a call from Uncle Hyun-Soo.

 

He told me to stop by the room before broadcast appearances.  

 

Honestly, it felt calculated.

 

Launching an idol career in Korea, I couldn’t afford to be seen as a sociopath.

 

Ding- Ding- Ding-

 

The beeps of the ECG in the quiet room inadvertently deepened my thoughts.

 

The final stop of rumination is always the contract with the devil.   

 

[If you achieve the goal, the suspended death will disappear, and they will revive.]

 

[In the timeline you want.] 

 

[Whenever. Any time.]

 

Yeah.

 

If I just achieve the goal, my parents will wake up at the point in time I want.

 

It can be during my Super Bowl performance at the height of success as a rapper. Or when I’m in Korea for a tour as GOTM.

 

I could even go back to before debuting, before the accident.

 

That’s why I repeat infinite regression.

 

Not because they wake up when I’m around 70 years old after selling 200 million albums. 

 

The devil’s epithet ‘Crossroads’ does not simply mean crossroads.

 

It’s about boundaries, turning points, and singularities.

 

Every moment, fate splits.

 

Perhaps, parallel dimensions…

 

Then, the room door opened, and Uncle Hyun-Soo entered.  

 

“When did you get here?”

 

“Just now.”

 

“You okay?”

 

“I’m okay.” 

 

“…”

 

“Really, I’m fine. It all feels like a dream.”

 

We didn’t chat much, just silently watched my parents.

 

Although the three were both in med school, they didn’t know each other well.  

 

It was Uncle Hyun-Soo, my parents’ junior, who had arranged the blind date for them.

 

Thanks to him, they got married, and I was born.  

 

After that, the three had more and more contact, almost like family.  

 

Whenever I regress, I absolutely ask the EMTs to take us to this hospital.  

 

Also, he grants the difficult request not to make a vegetative diagnosis of my parents for months.

 

It’s more advantageous for me if guardianship is put off as much as possible.  

 

I have to at least age out of being a minor first.

 

“…”

 

Damn. To think I’m having such thoughts all the way to the hospital room.

 

Noticing my sigh, my uncle looked at me with concern, so I changed the subject.

 

“Uncle, what time do you get off work today?”

 

“I’m on duty, but… let’s go out for dinner. Tomorrow’s your first shoot, right?”

 

“Yes.”  

 

“IS prep going well?”

 

“Nothing much to prepare, really. I just need to show up.” 

 

“Shouldn’t you prepare something?”

 

“Top talents like me don’t need to do anything.”  

 

My uncle snorted a laugh.   

 

“Then let’s head to an NRB. Let’s see how well you sing. Ah, we should buy clothes too. What time do the department stores close?”

 

“You said you’re on duty?”

 

“I’ll give you a life hack I learned from work. Listen carefully. When a doctor on duty says let’s go out to eat at night, it means I’m going to switch duty with a colleague. Got it?”

 

“For that to be a life hack, wouldn’t I have to go to med school?”

 

“Who knows, maybe you’ll date a doctor later.”

 

“Singers should not date.”

 

“What? Why?”

 

“Less album sales.”

 

Uncle let out a laughing voice, misunderstanding my utterly sincere words for a joke.  

 

And so we had dinner together… 

 

In the hospital cafeteria.  

 

Cause no one would switch duty for him.

 

“…”

 

“Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I lack connections, but all my colleagues were really busy today……”

 

“It’s fine. To me, you’re the best uncle.”  

 

“That’s not it!”

 

It was a fairly nice day, except for my uncle, who appeared to be extremely aggrieved.

 

*   *   *

 

Han Si-On got up early for a jog and finished stretching by the time he arrived at the filming site at 8 AM.

 

After signing the program participation agreement and NDA forms, an hour had already passed from doing a simple interview with the writers.  

 

“Mr. Han Si-On, you will go to the set right now.”

 

February 23rd, 2017, 9 A.M.  

 

<COMING UP NEXT>’s first shooting began.